If I had to summarize the 22nd year of my life in a few words, I would say that it was all about finding the value in failure. On the surface things may have looked great and successful, but my transition from college girl to young adult was anything but smooth. My internship turned into a full time job, while I was still a full time student. My four year relationship went from good, to bad, to worse, to over. I failed a class, and failed again and felt like things were not going according to my well thought out master plan. And on top of it all, I had already moved off campus, with no roommate, and was now a full time dog mama with real ass bills to pay (I’ll explain the dog situation in another post). I was beyooonnnddd stressed out, taking my frustrations out on family and friends all while isolating myself from everyone else.
Pressures like the ones I experienced are common, but have more than enough power to break you. For a moment I let my failures convince me that I wasn’t capable of ever being great. Now I’m not saying that things are all sunshine and rainbows now, it took hella work and self discovery. With the help of my mama, music, makeup and some dedicated friends, I finally found the courage to tell my ego to bounce and reevaluate what I could realistically handle. The main things I learned are as follows:
It’s ok to say no.
The majority of my problems were caused by burn out. I would literally say yes to plans with a homie knowing damn well that I am tired from work and I still had homework to do, a dog to walk and dishes to clean. Then I would get frustrated trying to cram everything into a small timeframe, all because I wanted the illusion of a work / life balance… IT WAS JUST NOT THAT SERIOUS! I finally just had to keep it real with myself and start telling other people no, so I could tell myself yes.
Preparation really does matter.
I always notice a MAJOR difference in my productivity, mood and stress levels when I prep everything for the week. Having my lunch and dinner cooked for the week, laundry done, outfits picked out and house clean really does help me to clear my mind and focus on my true goals. It also gives me a consistent routine to cling to (still working on that consistency part tho lol). Its like that saying, if you don’t prepare you plan to fail. I know if I don’t plan my day out the night before, my mornings are in shambles and my afternoons are filled with frustration. Routines that cater to your needs really do matter.
Be thankful for what you have.
I will never understand why it is so addictive to be focused on negativity, when positivity feels so much better. I noticed that during the period of my life where I was so down on myself for my failures, I lost focus on all the things I should be thankful for. Things could always be 10x worse and it is important to keep gratitude in your heart and count your blessings.
Mind over matter.
The first step to any type of progress, starts in your mind. When I changed my mindset and became focused on graduation (which I did graduate btw) things started to change for the better.
Well folks, that is my story or whatever. Being in your early 20’s is kind of weird, but I have an amazing feeling about 23. I took these bomb ass pictures to celebrate my progress so I hope you all like them. Oh, and while you are here you might as well wish me a happy birthday in the comments.